First Draft Review

          After the first draft of the scenes, thanks to the David who recorded for us and thank for the advice, I found out there are many details I should improve or change, such as blocking, speaking, and body language on the stage.

          Blocking is the most important teamwork that should be improved.  Firstly, the fire escape landing is too small.  I think it is possible to divide the whole stage into two equal parts: one for fire escape and the other is for the living room.  Therefore, when Jacob is standing on escape landing, he can stand on the back of the stage where it is close to the bridge instead of the clothes rack, and then I can have more time to come to him while speaking my long redundant lines.  Secondly, I do not know where I should go on the stage, so I sit on the chair a little bit early.  However, in the first scene, I should go to the landing first, and then go back and stand in the living room.  Next, I can go back to fire escape landing where Tom is still there so that I can make a connection with him.  At the end of the first scene, I should wander around in the living room while deciding to make some decorations, and after it, I sit opposite to Tom for a moment and come to him touching his shoulder.  The scene should end up with the position.  Third, I got a better idea for Jacob's blocking when he is doing the last scene.  In the last scene, Jacob made a wrong exit actually.  He should exit left stage where the fire escape landing is instead of the right.  I am standing in his way when he gets mad.  Therefore, when I say, "You live in a dream: you manufacture illusions," he can stand up and rush to the door.  Because he walks so fast, he collides with my shoulder.  I do not react first because of the shocking, but then when I ask him "where are you going" three times, he can stop rushing, standing near the door and only showing a back to me.  After my complaining, he leaves.  It will be more dramatic.

          Speaking and my body language should be improved as well.  Base on the comments, I twist some word and do not pronounce clearly at some words.  Therefore, I should practice more words by words, and then when I stand on the stage, I should slow down my speaking.  Body language is a serious problem I have, and I am so unsatisfied with my body language.  For Amanda, even though she is not a gentlewoman, but what I stand and what I sit look so casual.  In addition, I have a bit hunchback, so the appearance does not make me refreshing.  I need to stand straight, sit formally with closed legs and the back should be straight all the time.  That is what I need to improve.