1.
Tom left, that is what I can predict, so I am totally cool with it. After all, there is already a man left home a long time ago. Therefore, nothing surprised. But I am still depressed because it reminds me again that the prosperous past is gone, and I will be alone from the beginning to the past whoever passed through my life and whatever my life is.
Oh yes, I still have Laura, but will she leave? I do not know. My mind is chaotic. On the one hand, I want her to stay because I cannot live all by myself. It is not fair that everyone left and only left me in the dark. Yes, I know my kids hate me nagging at them, but that is the way for showing my care, my worry. On the other hand, I want her to leave. There is a day I have to leave this world, so imagine that if I died, who will take care of Laura? I hope she will find a gentleman who loves her as I do, who worry about her like I did.
I hope they will all have wonderful lives.
2.
I worry about my daughter. She is sitting on the chair quietly for a long time as if she is not there. Her face is pale, her eyes are glassy, her hair is dry, and her hand voice is shaking. After Laura gave out her special unicorn glass to Jim, she gave out the rest of glass menagerie to other people. I was shocked at first because I cannot understand why she did it. I once guessed she might be loved to jump out of her illustration, and it made me happy for a while until I saw her getting weaker and weaker days by days.
She is like a ghost. I hope one day she would find a good gentleman caller to save her lonely soul. To be honest, even if she cannot find anyone, she should stand up strongly and live well. But how I teach others about it? I cannot even reach the goal. I miss Tom, but I do not know where he is. He left like his father did, but fortunately, he often sends a letter to his sister every month.
3.
I started to find more jobs in this town because I cannot afford Laura and me with the only part-time job, but it is so difficult to get one. When I came to the admission office of any workplace, they asked me what I can do and what education I got. Everyone glimpsed me for a second and never hung up their head. They all kept asking questions and kept writing. Their voice is as cold as a machine, and I can not see their smile. I cannot even see their faces! Do they start doing like that? Do human start to treat people like that?
I am so mad and so sad, and it made me feel that everyone does not like me, including Tom and Laura. I feel like I am a vagrant lost in this world, and this feeling makes me sick. Remember the past years, people were nice, and I was still beautiful and gorgeous. There was nothing for me to worry about, but now I am continually worried and listen to others.
4.
Alright, I did not find any job after a few weeks. You know, I visited at least ten offices yearning to get a job, and because of that, I have to answer the same question over and over again and try not to forget their impolite neglect. They begin to value the education more because the society needs the well-educated youths. The competition is intense. Therefore, it drives me thinking that maybe I should... walk out of the valley to gain more job opportunities... or get a higher education? Time is so much different than the past, and it made me so scared that I cannot even sleep well.
Laura is better now after a few days. She does not sit in the same place staring out of the window for a whole day anymore. She begins to read books and help me to do some chores. Even though she still cannot show her smile or have any facial expression, I am glad she is turning better. My daughter is back, and that is the most fortunate thing I got these days.
5.
Ok, I decided to go to college at night first, and once after I finish the education, we can move out of the valley and start a new life. I talked to the college office and after a lot of bargains and beggings, they allowed me to study in the school without any tuition. Instead, I have to do the clean of the school. It still satisfied me because I can finally see a possibility of the future. I only have Laura, and I cannot lose her.
The decision was so difficult to make, but once I saw Laura becoming more reactive, I thought there is something to change. The old me love to look into past. The story I told so many times was my proud, and I know the story made my two kids bored, but I can give up on telling that. However, the good story cannot feed us and bring a comfortable life to us, so I decide to say goodbye to my past. Yes, it is so enjoyable when you drop into your glory because there is no pain and no worries, but sorry, I cannot stay in the glory longer. I feel like the past glory will make me lose Laura if I still stay in the past.
6.
Laura left. She kissed me and hugged me. She smiled at me and said farewell. And she left. Without a second look. Laura whispered thank you to me for raising her up when she hugged me. Her eyes were shining, maybe there was the tear in her eyes. I do not know. I only felt cold.
She looks like a real woman now. There is no word to describe her. You cannot tell that she is confidence or not now, and you cannot tell that she is outgoing or not. You cannot see anything by looking at her face. In other words, you can see everything through her appearance, confidence, happiness, sadness, and calmness. She lived as a mystery.
She said she will find her brother. I know it is not true. There is no address on the envelope. She said she will never come back. The place is nothing worth to her. She said she will get a job out of the valley, maybe she will meet a man and have a marriage. She said she might have friends. She said she will have a family and have a lovely kid.
She said she will love her life. She said she hopes that I can enjoy my present.
And she said, "Sorry, mom. There is no letter from me."
"Farewell."
7.
This place is like a huge striking clock because it never stops going. Therefore, the people who want to stay and give a glimpse of their past will be weeded out of this place. And I never thought I will be one of them.
I walked through a wonderful youth age, and I continued to feel that this property will be with me until I die. I was too young and childish. My journey will be a solitude that is full of lost. I should know it earlier in order to not show my desperation too much. For those who left, who said goodbye, who still stay, they are all so sure that they will have the most beautiful lives. However, after hundreds of farewell, after thousands of hopeless moments, who else will embrace their happiness without any tears and doubt? Well, hopefully when the happiness comes, I can have your warmest greeting, I can see you turning back from the long distance, and hopefully, when the happiness comes, I can stand by your side. Hopefully, the people who left and the people who stay will meet in the end.
"Once, if I remember well, my life was a feast where all hearts opened and all wines flowed."
Farewell.
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